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Sargon's Valentine's Day, Part 2

Continued from HERE.

JF's note: So, the "earthquake" that occurred at the end of the last post was a roll of 3 at the beginning of the Gotham villains' second turn. This caused the map to be turned over to the "ruined" power plant side. Ironically, the same thing happened to me during the final game of the No Man's Land tournament - a second-turn earthquake. When it did, my opponent's pieces lost all benefit of cover and I took advantage, winning the event and the limited edition Clayface miniature I'm using below. In this Sargon game, the second-turn earthquake has, this time, hurt my heroes, and the villains have gotten an advantage by suddenly dropping in elevation as the roof they were originally on collapsed. It's a bad turn of events for Sargon and the Birds of Prey.

Now, back to Sargon...


"Earthquakes are bulls#!+, man!"

"Oh, I'm sorry...did you want a nice little after-action report? Well, here it is: my side is LOSING because of some DUMB-A$$ game mechanic. Happy? Clayface and Joker poisoned, burned, and slashed Lady Shiva and Katana - the only hot Asian chicks on my team - and we're losing. Sure, the girls got enough hits in to allow Huntress to finish off Joker, but the damage has already been done: there are no hot Asian chicks left on my team! F*ck you, Valentine's Day! Oh, and this is a picture of Black Canary attacking Harley Quinn or something. Whatever."    

"Over in a corner, Oracle was monitoring the situation and giving support with a few special abilities that could be accessed by her teammates. The benefits to the maneuvers of Black Canary and Huntress were impressive - and the only things keeping the Birds of Prey in this fight. This made me realize something very important about operational and tactical employment of finite strategic resources: smart girls are probably wild in the sack." 

"The freaks pushed forward! I stayed on the roof doing my magic thing. No, seriously...I was helping. Really! I'm a mother f*ckin' sorcerer, people. I throw arcane energy from far away! Go play D&D if you don't believe me!"

"With Oracle's help, Huntress miraculously broke away from the sticky Clayface and took a shot that blasted him away! Turning point, baby!"

"Once Black Canary and Lady Blackbird KO'd Dr. 'nobody-knows-who-the-f*ck-you-are' Phosphorous, the only villain left was Killer Croc. And, do you know who KO'd him? THIS GUY! Yeah, baby, that's right! Sargon's making himself a new pair of alligator shoes, b!+ches!"

"We still won! So, f*ck you, impermanent terrain!"

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