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On Being Your Own Gracious Host

Solo gamers are not antisocial people. We are deeply passionate connoisseurs of our hobby who require periods of solitary, contemplative play to satisfy our profound gaming appetites.

That, or our friends' wives won't let them out again. Either one.

Whatever the case, we will always find the time for solo gaming, whether we've planned for it in advance or have stolen an hour or two for ourselves when the opportunity has arisen. That time, undoubtedly, will be precious - rare, even, for some - and should be enjoyed to the fullest.

Sometimes, though, we forget that.

Of course, we would never forget to enjoy ourselves when we’re guests at a social event because our gracious host’s primary concern is our enjoyment. Music, food, and a drunken uncle to point at and mock will all be readily available, and our fun will be assured. Furthermore, if that social event also happens to be a “Gaming Event,” our enjoyment will be all the more memorable as long the host has organized the event with careful consideration of the added complexities of being engaged with a game as well as with other guests.

That’s an important point to remember. Organizing a Gaming Event for a group of guests can be more challenging than most non-gamers would imagine. The host must not only consider the dynamics of those invited, but also the dynamics of the game(s) being offered. For example, Mum will always be welcomed to game night when we're breaking out Apples to Apples or Pictionary, but she won't be getting a seat at our next five-hour Call of Cthulhu marathon.

Nevertheless, when the host gets it right, the guests couldn’t be happier!

I believe that the same expectations as those of any Gaming Event should still hold true for solo gaming. The only difference is that the host and the one-and-only-one guest are the same person.

To accept the responsibility of being one's own host, the solo gamer would do well to take a closer look at the relationship structures of a Gaming Event. To facilitate this, I offer my own take on the subject since it comes with this rather nifty graphic:


The Gaming Event is a combination of three sets of relationships between varied elements measured in degrees of harmony which may or may not adversely affect the time spent playing a game.

At the center of any Gaming Event is the relationship of the game's design intention to its execution; that is, what the game hopes to accomplish for players when they play it, and how the rules of the game will make that happen. This is the most concrete and formal aspect of the Gaming Event, residing at the very core of the experience. It is also the simplest to assess: well-made games have a higher probability of providing an enjoyable time to players, poorly-made games less so. Straightforward, really.

Wrapped around the core of the Gaming Event is the relationship of a player to the game. Regardless of whether the game is solo or a dozen people are involved, it is critical to acknowledge the participant-to-game dynamic on an individual basis because one's engagement with a product's theme, design, and mechanics is a wholly subjective matter. Any impediment between a player and a game in terms of taste, style, or theme will potentially undermine the Gaming Event regardless of what the other players at the table think of it.

The final and most variable layer that makes up the Gaming Event is the relationship of the Gaming Event's environment to the player. The environment includes other players, the location of the event, the comforts provided while gaming, and any other external stimuli that impact a player while playing in a game. Entire evenings of wonderful fun may never be realized by a host who does not provide the best possible environment to his or her guests.

Of course, there is little need for the solo gamer to ruminate for too long over the first two relationships of the Gaming Event. Unless play-testing untried rules (which would be an altogether different event with its own set of expectations), the solo gamer will be informed enough to avoid choosing the "wrong" game and will know full well what style of game would suit his or her current mood.

It's the outer layer of the Gaming Event - the relationship of the environment to the player - that the solo player needs to more carefully consider. I state again that time is precious and it should be enjoyed to the fullest, and we solo players need to be more conscious of this! We need to be our own gracious host and provide the best hospitality to ourselves as possible!

Thoughtfully consider what would make the next solo session of your favorite game more enjoyable in terms of your relationship with your environment: food, drink, music, comforts, whatever! Don't just think "solo gaming," think "Solo-Gaming Event." Consider what you'd like offered to you at a multiplayer Gaming Event and give it to yourself!

Don't know when you'll next be able to play solo? Then it is all the more important to consider the environment in advance when solo gaming is a more spontaneous affair. Acknowledge everything you'll need and try to keep it all handy so that when the moment for solo gaming is made available, you are ready to go!

(My favorite kind of solo-gaming afternoon: solo skirmish war gaming, bright sunshine streaming through the window, a sweet and light frappe at hand, and the "Natalie Dessay Radio" setting playing on Pandora. Nice.)

Finally, it is important to point out that none of this self-pampering that I am encouraging is in any way a championing of anti-social behavior. In fact, it’s quite the opposite, really, and I hope that it is embraced within the spirit it is offered because it all comes down to a simple truth:

When you treat yourself well, your ability to treat others well will improve exponentially.

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